One Of A Kind

Summer after high school when we first met
We make up in your Mustang to Radiohead
And on my 18th Birthday
We got matching tattoos

Used to steal your parents’ liquor
And climb to the roof
Talk about our future
like we had a clue
Never plan that one day
I’d be losing you

And in another life
I would be your girl
We keep full of promises
Be us against the world

And in another life
I would make you stay
So I don’t have to say
You were the one that got away
The one that got away

Always dreaming you were my Johnny Cash
Never one we got the other we made a pact
Sometimes when I miss you
I put those records on

Someone said you had your tattoo removed
Saw you downtown singing the Blues
Its time to face the music
I’m no longer your muse

And in another life
I would be your girl
We keep full of promises
Be us against the world

And in another life
I would make you stay
So I don’t have to say
You were the one that got away
The one that got away
The o-o-o-o-o-one [x3]
The one that got away

[Bridge:]
All these money can’t buy me a time machine (Nooooo)
Can’t replace you with a million rings (Nooooo)
I shoulda told you what you meant to me (Woooooow)
Cause now I pay the price

And in another life
I would be your girl
We keep full of promises
Be us against the world

And in another life
I would make you stay
So I don’t have to say
You were the one that got away
The one that got away
The o-o-o-o-o-one [x3]

And in another life
I would make you stay
So I don’t have to say
You were the one that got away
The one that got away

Let’s start with how I have too many men in my life. Some of them gorgeous. Some of them in bands. Some of them married. Some of them single. Some of them in relationships and some of them teetering on the edge of sending me into nervous breakdown mode. I love men. Good looking ones. Funny ones. Ones who buy me drinks. I only attract creepers though. The guys who couldn’t get a girl if they had $100 bill hanging out of their zipper. I inherit stalkers and ex drug addicts on a fairly regular basis. I also get the disapproval of all my friends everytime a new man enters my life. I’m very particular about who I hook up with and quite frankly it’s been a while since there’s been any hooking up to speak of. I haven’t had a hook up since last November and I haven’t had sex since February of 2009. This year has been all about fun so I’m hoping to put an end to my losing streak real soon.

Summer 2010 has been stellar thus far. I hate to see an end but Labor Day weekend we’re hoping to send it out with a bang. A quick recap. Jamie came down for the Bamboozle Road Show. We had a blast with a group of the usual suspects. Then Warped Tour. I think getting to hang with Missie was the best part, but I met so many awesome people. I really enjoyed the time I spent working and hanging out. I met so many cool people. I got to watch my favorite band every single day. It was a fucking blast. I could never get bored of watching Alkaline Trio live. I danced on stage with Andrew WK. I met so many bands. I got to spend time with all my favorite people. There was an epic road trip. Summer 2010 has been too kind to me. There were some drunken nights, a couple of fights. It was a fantastic trip. Seeing New Found Glory last week and hearing them play songs from Nothing Gold Can Stay was probably a huge highlight. I still have Something Corporate this week and Green Day next week. Labor Day weekend Erica nad her boyfriend are coming up and after two years I finally get to be reunited with my best friend ever. I’m pretty stoked about it. There will be drinks and Sox games and a lot of fun. Hopefully. I can’t wait.

It’s been almost a week since my Warped Tour adventure came to an end and believe me the depression is quickly setting in. The reality has sunk in that I’m no longer a child though my Peter Pan syndrome allowed me to remain so for so long. I start my new full time position on August 4th. I want the money and I’m excited for the possibilities, however, when you’re going to be the first one of your friends to turn 30 in just a few short years, you start to become pretty depressed.

Warped Tour was so much fun. It was awesome seeing so many friends everyday and hanging out with Missie. The bands were great, at least the ones I watched… Alkaline Trio, Andrew WK, The All American Rejects, Sum 41, The Bouncing Souls, Reel Big Fish, Bring Me The Horizon, Breathe Electric. I couldn’t really bring myself to watch many other bands. If you’ve seen Mayday Parade once then you’ve seen more then half the bands on the tour. You’re not missing anything. Warped Tour is a hell of an experiecne especially if you plan on doing more then one day. You’re in a different state every night, you’re sleeping in hotels, washing up at truck stops, four hours of sleep a night is the maxium you get, but you never have any regrets. Hugs every morning, coffee brought to the venue for me, lots of laughs with good friends, it was a week to remember that’s for sure. The inevitable saying goodbye sucked, the new crush was quite unexpected and not really quite welcome to be completely honest. Now my tension runs kind of high. What happens at Warped Tour stays at Warped Tour, if you were one of the lucky few to hear the stories then congratulations, if you were one of the unlucky few to be on the recieving end of my exhausted rant then I apologize. I miss my friends. I miss the laughs. I am sad to be home, but life will go on and I will go down.

My mind has been getting the better of me lately. I’m tired of being the girl with the cute friends, the girl every guy comes to when they want their band promoted, their shows booked, their egos stroked, I’m tired of being the one everyone asks for favors and no one returns them. Ever. I’m tired of it all. Lately I’ve let my mind get the better of me. I’ve spent hours crying, even more hours trying to sleep it off. I’ve more or less given up food except for a hand full of chips here or a bowl of cereal there, mostly I just try to sleep as often and as much as I can. Some would say it’s part of the Warped Tour recovery process, but those who know me that this lack of food, constant sleep isn’t just about missing Warped Tour. It’s about my bitterness, my life is a series of meaningless one night stands in a haze of rejection with alcohol fueled addictions to everything that’s wrong for me. I almost did something I wasn’t proud of the other day, something I spent the last year or so battling internally, and it almost destroyed me, it’s not something I will ever really share with the world, but had that battle been won quite a few lives would have been destroyed by my own selfish lonliness. In the end me with the bad girl ideas, the don’t care attitude backed down for the greater good of the situation. The fact that something like that was even a thought in my head says a lot about me but the fact that I walked away from it says even more. My internal struggles will probably only get worse as time goes on, but maybe I’ll stop making so many wrong decisions.

Remember this is my blog. I get to say what I feel. I get to omit names to protect guilty parties. I get to whine about my own selfish lonliness. I get to loathe myself. I get to bask in my own bragging. I get to brag because this is my blog. You reserve the right to judge. You reserve the right to talk shit. You reserve the right to hypocritcally criticize me. Don’t keep it to yourself. You want to shout at me how I’m pathetically hopeless, knock yourself out. You want to call me a groupie, you’ll never win that fight. You want names, dates, places of things I’ve talked about it’s never gonna happen.